Music for Dipsomaniacs

"Drink this down: just like medicine." (Twice.) "I just thought if I gave you a drink, you'd be so grateful you'd take me to a movie." "I need this." "Hey -- wait a min-blub." Solitary drinkers have a bad rep, but social drinkers are the ones who cause damage.

Shaking nausea, odd shifts in focus and depth of vision, inarticulatable desires uncoupled from the power to satisfy, bouts of bullying and self-loathing -- aren't these symptoms of alcoholism rather than acrophobia? And is there anything funnier than a solemn drunk?
Copyright 1998 Ray Davis